A Moment of Pause, A Moment of “Grace.”
I have prayed more than six thousand times throughout the past three years. Sound like a lot? The same prayer, just fifty-nine words, sometimes up to five times in a single day. No, I’m not a religious nut and I promise this isn’t some woo-woo technique, my story is actually quite simple. The TLDR version, I am disciplined when it comes to expressing gratitude and taking every opportunity to remind myself of my goals. Now for those interested in learning more…
Maybe the term “pray” doesn’t necessarily line up with the traditional definition of praying you’re familiar with but I have to say, it’s been working wonders for me. Expressing gratitude and reminding myself why I’m here and how to show up is critical for someone like me (who can be less than perfectly organized at all times). It’s helpful to keep my goals in front of me and it enables me to savor every step I take towards them. I went from never having said a “prayer” on my own willfully to praying before ingesting any and every meal at age thirty. Why the sudden change? Read on to find out.
I’ve said “grace” (also referred to as “prayer” in some cultures) before eating the best of meals and well, the rest of the meals. Whether I’m taking a few seconds before cracking open a can of sardines with a pack of nearly stale crackers or it’s a 2-star Michellin meal; any and all occasions to nourish the body with food calls for a moment of gratitude ( “grace”). Grace actually comes from the Latin gratiarum actio, “act of thanks”. Fortunate is fortunate, blessed is blessed, grateful is grateful; whether for a lot or a little, to be able to simply say grace has been a gift. I haven’t skipped a day since I started, Summer 2021.
“Prayer is speaking to God, meditation is listening.”
(My interpretation and use of the word “god” refers to inner divinity and the cosmic experience, oneness, consciousness.)
There I was at my kitchen counter, seated with an intentionally straight posture attempting yet another deep breath hoping it would not send me into a full fledged panic attack. The slightest expansion of my chest cavity was putting pressure on my spine, setting off the damaged nerves in my torso like emergency flares burning everywhere all at once. My heart rate would spike from a resting seventy beats per minute (bpm) and skyrocket to a whopping one hundred forty bpm within minutes. My vision would narrow and my breathing would become increasingly shallow as the sharp pains intensified with each attempt to expand my locked up diaphragm to the point of wheezing. Sensations completely foreign to me at the time, and confused about what was actually going on in my body, I’d white knuckle my way through the experience, sweating, scared and straddling the line between consciousness and passing out. After nearly eight weeks of diagnostic tests and medical study my medical team still hadn’t reached a definitive conclusion on the severity of my recently acquired injuries. Other than assuring me my status was “likely stable”, we would wait for an undefined time for a prognosis to unfold. (More in upcoming blog)
Just weeks earlier I had weighed a healthy 166lbs, and there I was now teetering on the edge of 142 lbs afraid to drop into the 130’s. There was a three day stretch early-on just a few days after my accident, I was in so much pain I wasn’t able to eat a single spoon of soup. Covered in ice packs, heating pads and surrounded by pain medications, I laid in my prescribed bed rest floating in and out of awareness. My body was weak, it was in lockdown mode and simultaneously in a constant state of restless panic from my inability to breathe pain-free. Unable to find a position free from the jolts of pain throughout my body, I felt my weary body was shackled to this new warped reality, my mind constantly working to make sense of this new “normal”. Electrical shocks ricocheting throughout my torso, back, and legs it felt like a pinball made of hot lead was trapped in my chest and itching to escape like the creature made famous by Ridley Scott’s film Alien from 1979. The worst part was that I felt trapped too, trapped in a body that suddenly felt like a prison.
Facing this unexpected obstacle, I found myself with a surplus of time to sit with my feelings and thoughts while getting acquainted with the pain. With a broken body I did not want to risk further damage to, I decided my first goal would be to “control the controllables” and work on my mind and spirit. The only solution I felt was appropriate was to work smarter not harder. “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”. From that day forward I would refer to this obstacle as: a “challenge”, a test, an opportunity to become stronger in ways I’ve yet explored.
Feeling I would face this sudden and painful dilemma for an indefinite amount of time my approach was to embrace a concept I’d learned about a few years earlier in a book titled “Habits”, by Charles Duhigg called “habit stacking”. Habit stacking is essentially starting with one habit and then building off of it. I thought to myself, what habits do I already have in place that I can substitute for better habits that might improve my situation? In hindsight, now that I’ve developed the vocabulary to describe it, I realized I was taking a psychological approach to a physiological problem. I wasn’t sure it would work at the time, but I was willing to try just about anything to improve my condition. I thought to myself:
I eat everyday, sometimes multiple times a day, this will be my root habit, a part of my routine that’s critical and something I already do everyday.
I can use the moment before eating to pause, channel my energy, and remind myself why I am eating; to nourish myself, to grow and in turn achieve my goals of becoming stronger.
I can practice seeing the positives in my situation; to have any food at all and the ability to recognize it is powerful.
I can use this space and time for affirmations to remind myself of my goal to nurture a healthy body, mind, and spirit
I can practice patience and monotasking
Rather than simply digging in, I can remind myself that I can improve digestion by eating slower, easing my stomach discomfort.
I can express gratitude for all of those who had something to do with the processing of delivering this meal from nature to my plate.
I can express gratitude for the animal who is giving it’s life so that I can continue to thrive.
I can connect with the loved ones I’m fortunate to be with in this life both in that moment, and honor them even when not present.
I can sit while eating activating my parasympathetic nervous system, “rest and digest”
I can build suspense in my pleasure seeking centers of my brain by “eating with my eyes, nose, ears, and heart first” increasing the joy that comes from the meal.
At the most fundamental level, I am elevating my awareness by being present during my meal. I’m honoring and acknowledging the ability to contain myself for a moment of pause before eating. I feel this separates me from those (who as far as we know) do not have the cognitive ability or complex language to do so. This is brain training at its best.
#MoveWithIntention even in thought. Using positive words such as “I can” was also empowering at a time when I suddenly felt so powerless and felt as though so much had been stripped away from me. Rather than focus on what I couldn’t do, I decided to focus on what I could do, control the controllables.
“He who says he can and he who says he can’t are both usually right”
– Confucius
Another trick I didn’t realize I was doing at the time, was activating my reticular brain. When you practice seeing the positive, you will become trained to see the positive(s) even when it’s not obvious or apparent for others. It’s not “woo-woo”. It’s science. Positive affirmations, visualization, and goal setting is how you strengthen your reticular activating system. Don’t believe me? Ask Andrew Huberman.
The promise I made to myself at the lunch table that day was to simply take a moment to express gratitude and say “thank-you” before every meal and take a moment of pause to remind myself I’m doing more than just fulfilling my simple bodily sensation of hunger. By consuming food my body would biologically convert into energy, I’m providing the energy needed to enable me to nurture my mind and spirit. By taking a moment of pause before diving into a delicious smelling, looking, and warm plate of food I’m nurturing my patience and anticipation. And ultimately a stronger mind and body is critical for nurturing my spirit.
I call it my gratitude prayer or meditation because I’m speaking to my inner divinity, connecting with my present, envisioning my future, and also acknowledging my past. All of which I’m thankful for.
The same way we cook with spices and herbs, I consider my gratitude prayer to be the secret seasoning I use to purposefully enhance life. “You eat with your eyes and nose before you eat with your mouth” See, hear, smell, breath in and taste your food mentally before you consume it physically. Let your gratitude fill you spiritually, before you consume your food physically.
For those who are still reading and wondering what my prayer is. See for yourself below. Feel free to use it, to add, drop, or change it any way you like that helps fill your cup of life.
“Dear Lord (Inner Divinity)
Thank you for this food, these nutrients to nurture my body because a strong body nurtures a strong mind, spirit and soul. Thank you for encouraging me and enabling me to practice self-love each and every day, every moment; so I can share it, show it, and give it to the world. Please bless this food. Amen.
#MoveWithIntention #RestWithReason #AlwaysInMotion
Written by: Trevor Sanchez
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